Consider Your Trajectory
Where Is Your Life Headed?
“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me
on level ground!” - Psalm 143:10
A wise man once told me that the most important thing about a person is not where he currently stands, but where he’s going. In other words, his trajectory. It was in the context of a discussion on how a father should view potential suitors for his daughter.
I’ll paraphrase the conversation, but he essentially argued how we unrealistically demand perfection from young men at the outset of their lives. Those who do this generally have very short memories, as they themselves would not have met their own high standards as teenagers or young adults. The kid doesn’t need to be a millionaire or a successful business owner; he simply needs to show that he is on a positive trajectory, that he is steadily growing in wisdom, skill, and of course, his ability to provide, to the degree that he is assuming increasing levels of responsibility appropriate for his age and station in life.
This is more of a guideline than a strict rule, as there are many men who appeared to be slugs in their youth but who were shocked into action upon getting married or holding their baby for the first time. Better late than never, as they say. But I do think, in most cases, you can look at a man and have a decent idea of where he’ll be in five or ten years based on how he stewards his time and resources now.
I like this view, and I think it’s applicable not only to potential spouses for our children, but also to our own spiritual lives. It will benefit us to regularly ask: what trajectory am I on? And if I were to stay this course, where will I (and my family) be in 5, 10, 20, 50 years?
In the logistics world, there’s something called backward (or reverse) planning. Begin with the end in mind. What’s your desired end-state? When the smoke clears, what will “success” look like?
A lot of guys struggle with this, for understandable reasons. Ten-year plan? Most of us are just trying to make it to the end of the month. But zoom out and really examine the direction you’re traveling and compare it to your vision for your personal and family life. Do the two align?
Many of us dream of what the future will look like when our houses are paid off, our children are happily married, and our profitable careers are slowly winding down as we begin to think about retirement. But in order for all of these things to be true, there are actions we must take now.
These are not necessarily big actions. Ending up where we want to be is not the result of a handful of major, life-defining decisions, but the “aggregation of marginal gains,” as one author calls it. Put another way, you become what you repeatedly do. Much like compound interest, these small, regular, steady improvements yield massive long-term results.
What trajectory are you on?
Think about your profession. Where do you want to be at the end of your career? In most industries, this will require a deliberate pursuit of specific roles and responsibilities. Say, for example, you want to be a Vice President of Operations for a manufacturing plant. You should probably have senior leadership experience in that particular department, which is often only available to those who have ground-level experience where the rubber meets the road. You might also need a particular degree or certification to even be considered for leadership. I know this all sounds very generic, but it’s not hard to make a career roadmap. All it takes is a little bit of effort and intentionality. The worst thing you can possibly do on this front is to remain idle while the world passes you by, hoping for a lucky break. As my Dad used to say, “hope is not a strategy.”
The same is true of family life.
Do you dream of a future where your children and grandchildren fill the pews of your church and live faithful, obedient lives to Christ? The time to plant the seed is now. Start with that vision in mind, and work backward. It will require them to find godly spouses who value family and children, which will require them to be present in communities of faith where such opportunities to find a spouse exist. This will determine where you live and worship now, and greatly affect the weekly rhythms of family life, including family worship, church, Sunday School, and weeknight activities. It will also require you to instill a positive view of family life in your children from an early age, which will rewire the way you think about work, school, and how you spend your free time. We need to be asking: how do I get from here to there?
The most important application of this question of trajectory is, of course, the trajectory of your soul. If I change nothing, what does my spiritual life look like fifty years from now? Remembering that nothing is neutral, it’s safe to assume that we are always doing one of two things: backsliding or progressing. I believe Christians are eternally secure, but I also believe God’s real warnings about backsliding and falling away, and so I believe the Christian life requires regular, intentional spiritual maintenance.
At the end of our lives, whenever that may be, we will simply be the sum of our daily habits over our lifetime. If those are prayer, meditating on God’s word, being generous, loving orphans and widows, and faithfully leading our families, then we will certainly be in a far better spiritual position than we are now (I’m talking about sanctification, not justification). And the opposite is also true; if we continue in prayerlessness, shallow and hasty skimming of the Scriptures, social media addiction, and isolated, atomized day-to-day life outside of the local church, we should not be surprised when we look up down the line and wonder if we’re even in the faith. God has given us these tools for our own sake, that we might be planted in the rich and fertile soil of the church and grow together in grace and godliness, with the spiritual disciplines to keep us fit, engaged, and communing with Him. Every day, we are becoming something. We should make sure it’s something good.
Consider your trajectory, and if you don’t like what you find, change course. This is the essence of repentance: turning from one path and walking another in accordance with God’s word. It’s turning around. God is not a cosmic killjoy bent on ruining our fun and snuffing out all traces of pleasure and goodness; He actually desires that we would know true love, true joy, true pleasure, and He knows we won’t find these in earthly things (quite the opposite).
In every area of life, but especially that of your eternal soul: begin with the end in mind.
May God bless you,
T
Thank you brother for this! Definitely something I need to think about.